Can a woman have it all?

Sara:

Can a woman have ‘it all’? What do people mean when they say this? I am finding it hard to answer this question. If a woman can’t have ‘it all’ do we assume therefore that a man has ‘it all’? And what is ‘it all’ anyway?

As is customary, I googled the question, total cop out I know, and I apologise in advance, however, it did bring up some interesting and thought provoking results.

“You can love your job, but your job will not love you back” - Cathie Black, Former Chairman and President, Hearst Magazines

So, having a job is not enough? Are we unhappy if a career is the main focus? I find that my job gives me a sense of purpose and I enjoy the challenges it brings and also the opportunity it gives me to exercise my mind. But, I am very aware that I would not be wholly fulfilled if my job was the only thing in my life.

“We need to understand that there is no formula for how women should lead their lives. That is why we must respect the choices that each woman makes for herself and her family. Every woman deserves the chance to realize her God-given potential” - Hilary Rodham Clinton

Amen Hilary! Though not wholly sure about the God-given bit here, I totally agree with the sentiment that there is no formula for how we should live our lives. ‘It all’ will be different from one person to the next.  

“There is no such thing as a work life balance. Everything worth fighting for unbalances your life” - Alain De Botton

It’s all one big juggling act. This is certainly how I have felt since having my daughter. If having it all is having a perfect balance between work and family life, I think this is totally unobtainable.

So, back to that age old question, can a woman have it all? Well it depends what is her ‘all’ I suppose.

Katie: 

Can a Woman Have it all?

5 things I really want:

1/ I really want a yacht, I’d keep it at Trinity Sur La Mer in Brittany. I’d learn to speak fluent French, ride a bike with a basket. I’d have a little dog, be friends with all the locals and I’d shop at the quaint but expensive delicatessens. I’d get all the tasty food and wine I wanted and go back to my yacht. I’d sail, drink, eat and read books on the deck as the sun set.

2/ No, what I really want is a book shop/café/art space. It would be a really laid back and welcoming place that loads of people would want to come to.

3/ I could do with £7000 for a house deposit, no make it £14000 then I could pay off my car too, or maybe make it £16000… you get the picture.

4/ I want to go back to when I was 19 and not walk down that alley way.

5/ I haven’t smoked for 7 years but sometimes, like when I’m watching an old film, sometimes I really want a cigarette. A real hand rolled, smoking, stinking, relaxing cigarette. But without the risk of lung cancer, so there is no guilty feeling.

Three years ago that list would have read closer to:

1/ I want a yacht

2/ I want a bookshop

3/ I want to enjoy my job

4/ I want a better car

5/ I want to do more adventurous stuff

And tomorrow the list could change all over again.

To answer the question; no, I don’t think it is possible to have it all, because ‘it all’ is an ever changing goal. I never wanted to buy a house before, now I do and when I do eventually buy one I’m sure I will replace ‘house’ with ‘dog’ or ‘ski holiday’. ‘It all’ also varies with the individual; our dreams are as unique as our finger prints. My ‘it all’ is different from Sara’s, as is hers from the next girls, so even if I thought I had it all, plenty of people would disagree.

That our ‘it all’s are different and that they change all the time, I think, is ultimately a good thing. These aspirations are what keep us working, moving, living. If we stopped wanting, then we might just stop.